1 00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:37,040 Hello! 2 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:39,120 And welcome to that Taskmaster show. 3 00:00:39,160 --> 00:00:42,440 It's only episode two, so, as things are still fresh and exciting, 4 00:00:42,480 --> 00:00:45,000 let's press on and enjoy it while it lasts. 5 00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:50,000 Your five champion candidates are Iain Stirling, 6 00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:52,400 Joe Thomas, 7 00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:53,960 Lou Sanders, 8 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:55,720 Paul Sinha 9 00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:58,440 and Sian Gibson! 10 00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:03,480 And, here, a man whose name you never hear before the words 11 00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:04,720 "scrubs up well", 12 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:07,280 it's little Alex Horne! 13 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:14,200 Hit me! 14 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:16,920 Well, you wouldn't want me to because I've been going to the gym. 15 00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:18,000 Yeah? 16 00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:20,640 Early days, still, but it's tough because I want to use the machines 17 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:22,520 and you know it says on them you've got to read 18 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:23,800 all the instructions first? 19 00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:26,640 I've been going four months, still doing that, still doing that. 20 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:28,880 This is the rowing machine one. Yep. 21 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:33,000 Five different languages. 22 00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:36,640 This is the drinks machine. Yep. 23 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:39,600 Because you should...you should read them. 24 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:43,000 You did plan this and it's just... 25 00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:44,680 It's just... There's a fundamental 26 00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:46,600 difference between what Alex and I find funny. 27 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,520 Yeah. 28 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:51,480 I'm happy to be outvoted, but, to be outvoted, 29 00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:52,920 you'd need to laugh. 30 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:54,120 {\an1}ONE PERSON LAUGHS 31 00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:55,160 See? 32 00:01:57,440 --> 00:01:59,680 On we go! Let's get the prize task happening, please. 33 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:03,520 This week we've asked them to bring in the best pair of things. 34 00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:06,080 The winner at the end of the episode will go home with not five 35 00:02:06,120 --> 00:02:07,800 but ten whole things! 36 00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:09,080 That's a lot of things. 37 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:10,160 Sian? 38 00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:13,440 Erm, I've got a pair of, erm, Shirley Bassey's pop socks. 39 00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:16,000 Shut up. Real? 40 00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:18,640 Seriously, seriously. 41 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:21,480 I'm 98% sure they're hers. 42 00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:25,160 98? That's an interesting percentage. 43 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:27,520 The ones you brought in are there. 44 00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:29,160 What's the 98%? 45 00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:30,520 Why are you almost sure 46 00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:31,920 they're Shirley Bassey's? 47 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:35,960 So, I went to see a concert that Shirley Bassey was at. 48 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:39,520 I went backstage, passed her dressing room and, erm, 49 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,840 she'd gone. She'd long gone. Ah... 50 00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:43,520 I went in, they were on the floor. 51 00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:45,480 Yeah. I don't know whose else they could be. 52 00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:46,840 Well, I did some research. 53 00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:49,440 I wrote to Dame Shirley, but I got an e-mail back 54 00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:52,160 from Dame Shirley Bassey's PA in Monaco. Lovely. 55 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:55,120 "Unfortunately it's impossible to confirm. So, it would be most 56 00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:58,200 "unusual that we would have a pair of pop socks in the dressing room, 57 00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:01,160 "so my instinct is that they are not belonging to Dame Shirley." 58 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:03,200 AUDIENCE: Ooh! 59 00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:05,080 Well, whose are they? 60 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:06,600 I think you're lying. 61 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:10,120 Well, there we go, that's the first one. Who's next? 62 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:11,520 Er, yeah, Dame Joe Thomas. 63 00:03:12,920 --> 00:03:14,840 What pair of things did you bring in? 64 00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:16,800 I brought a pair of diamond earrings. 65 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:18,080 There we go. 66 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:20,320 There they are. There they are. 67 00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:22,960 That's a prize. A pair of earrings is failure route one, 68 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:25,920 but if they're sufficiently valuable... Yeah, well, don't worry. 69 00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:28,680 ..then you could be looking at a pretty sweet position, here. 70 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:31,040 Hope so because they are valuable. 71 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:34,640 Well, how much were they? 72 00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:37,920 I think they were...they were...they were £2,735. 73 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:41,800 OK, well, I know for a fact that Alex knows how much they were. 74 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:42,960 How much were they, Alex? 75 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:45,800 Well, it says, the description, weirdly, "100% brand-new." 76 00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:50,440 IAIN: So, you know they're good! 77 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,200 "High quality alloy." 78 00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:56,480 £2.21, that's for the pair. 79 00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:59,800 Well, that's rubbish, last place. 80 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:02,080 Iain Stirling, can you beat a rubbish pair of earrings? 81 00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:03,560 Hopefully. 82 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:06,920 So, when you said to pair, to me, I immediately thought double act. 83 00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:10,120 And who are the most famous double act on television? 84 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:11,480 Erm, Morecambe and Wise. 85 00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:13,080 Dick and Dom, correct. 86 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:21,800 In Da Bungalow, the gritty BAFTA award-winning television show. 87 00:04:21,840 --> 00:04:22,960 Yep. 88 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:26,600 So I have got a song, if you will, from Dick and Dom 89 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:29,240 to the winner of tonight's episode of Taskmaster. 90 00:04:29,280 --> 00:04:30,840 Yes, here it is. 91 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:34,880 some tasks and you did whatever 92 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:36,480 93 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:39,080 this song 94 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:42,120 Dom. 95 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:44,640 96 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:48,240 {\an1}AUDIENCE APPLAUSE 97 00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:54,680 Oi, oi, oi, oi! 98 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:57,240 On the set of their new train station show. 99 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:01,720 Dick and Dom's combined age is the same as the Dalai Lama. 100 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:04,080 Wow. 101 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:05,600 Dom's 21, Dick is 62. 102 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:09,280 Incredible. OK... 103 00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:10,440 Er, Lou? 104 00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:11,760 Er, we'll wait to see it. 105 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:12,800 OK. 106 00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:17,440 So, it's a pair of breasts on slippers. 107 00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:22,680 What's nicer than slippers and breasts listening to music! 108 00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:26,720 Well, hello, you've got all three, OK? 109 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:29,720 Right. Do they come with the radios, is that...? 110 00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:32,720 I just got an elastic band and just popped that round. 111 00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:34,520 You just added those radios yourself? 112 00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:36,400 I did that. 113 00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:40,480 It's a lovely reminder of childhood, listening to crackly radio 114 00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:44,400 while you snuggle up to your mum's feet tits. 115 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:50,440 Well, there's one person left. Do you want to move on to Paul? Yeah. 116 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:54,000 This was a house-warming gift from my mum and dad, 117 00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:55,840 who go on more holidays than I do 118 00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:58,160 because they, sort of, invested well, 119 00:05:58,200 --> 00:05:59,920 and... 120 00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:06,320 ..in 2002, I bought my first home and they presented me with the most 121 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,840 wonderful house-warming gift that they picked up 122 00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:10,800 from their holiday to China. 123 00:06:10,840 --> 00:06:12,440 Here it is. 124 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:26,200 There are lots of reasons to love your mum and dad. 125 00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:29,680 The best reason is they cannot see anything in this picture 126 00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:32,520 that everybody else can see with their... 127 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:34,800 I mean, it's a really disturbing picture. 128 00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:37,080 I'm going to give some points out really quickly. OK. 129 00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:38,440 Are you ready? Yes. 130 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:40,920 Surprise, surprise, one point for the super cheap hearings. 131 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:42,840 I mean... Joe Thomas. Thank you very much. 132 00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:46,480 I really love that panda picture, so I'm going to give Dick and Dom 133 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:49,400 and the panda picture four points. 134 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:53,080 Three points to Lou and five points to Sian... 135 00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:58,440 ..because I believe they're Shirley Bassey's pop socks. 136 00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:05,600 Right, come on then, what's happening now? 137 00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:07,280 Er, we've got a task, and, sneakily, 138 00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:09,240 this one involves disguising a disguise. 139 00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:24,600 Oh, this is fancy. 140 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:29,960 A clue, isn't it? 141 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:32,960 "Put something on your face that looks like a moustache 142 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:34,640 "from a long distance away..." 143 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:36,880 "..but when you get up close, you realise it's something 144 00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:39,080 "completely different to what you thought." 145 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:41,640 "You have ten minutes to plan your moustache 146 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:44,800 "and ten further minutes to make your moustache." 147 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,840 "Most unexpected moustache wins. 148 00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:49,080 "Your time starts now." 149 00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:51,720 Your time starts now! 150 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:53,880 Erm, I'll start...I'll start... 151 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:57,360 ..planning. I'll just plan here, at the table. 152 00:07:57,400 --> 00:08:00,040 Do you understand the task? I do understand the task, yeah, 153 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,680 you make a... 154 00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:07,200 I think you want something with small detail. 155 00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:10,680 I'm channelling Father Christmas, so I want something white, 156 00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:12,520 like a baby mouse? 157 00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:18,280 Oh, I don't want a dead...I don't want a dead mouse on my face. 158 00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:20,920 But do you want a live mouse? No, I don't. Don't. Scrap that. 159 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:25,960 It's just hard to get away from ants, I mean, it's really... 160 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,240 How many ants? 161 00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:30,160 Well, you know, 50. 162 00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:31,640 50 really good ones. 163 00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:37,440 Sometimes my mind is not my friend. 164 00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:39,400 What were you thinking of this time, Lou? 165 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:40,760 Pubes! 166 00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:44,240 Please don't put that in the show. 167 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:53,040 OK, well, the way it's going to work is this, Greg. 168 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:55,440 You're going to look at the moustache from a distance, 169 00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:58,440 then you have to guess what you think it actually is. OK. 170 00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:00,440 The most unexpected moustache wins. 171 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:02,840 We're to find out who is the "Tachemaster". 172 00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:04,120 Ready? 173 00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:12,280 Man... 174 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:13,680 OK, let's go. 175 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:16,040 OK, here's Lou and Iain first. 176 00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:18,040 OK. Iain Stirling. 177 00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:21,680 Well, I can only tell you what I see, and what I see 178 00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:25,280 is a small, cut-out picture of a Vulcan bomber. 179 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:32,080 And I think that Lou has cut out the mouth section 180 00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:33,480 of a teddy bear. 181 00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:37,160 OK. 182 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:38,640 We will now zoom in, here we go. 183 00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:04,680 So, fake flies... Fake flies. 184 00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:06,200 ..and real mealworms. 185 00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:07,600 Real mealworms. 186 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:10,600 Absolutely disgusting. 187 00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:12,360 And then we have Iain's. 188 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:13,680 Yep. 189 00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:17,560 So, it's a map of a large village in Hampshire called Liphook. 190 00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:19,200 Liphook, cos it's on his lip. 191 00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:22,520 Yep, and a little picture of Iain as well. 192 00:10:22,560 --> 00:10:24,120 That's me on the map. 193 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:31,040 Yeah, go on, who's next? 194 00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:35,280 Oh, wait, you could have discussed it a bit! No. There was a pun. 195 00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:37,480 It's the Liphook thing's annoyed me. 196 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:43,040 OK, Greg, what do you think they've got on their upper lips? 197 00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:44,920 Hmm... Hmm. 198 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:46,840 Joe, genuinely what I see 199 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:50,400 is the novelty Doctor Who assistant, K9. 200 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:55,080 For younger people, 201 00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:57,280 K9 was a really terrible robot dog. 202 00:10:57,320 --> 00:10:58,560 Yeah. 203 00:10:58,600 --> 00:10:59,920 That's what I think it is. 204 00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:01,360 OK. 205 00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:03,360 And nothing will change my mind. 206 00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:06,080 OK. 207 00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:11,720 Sian, I think it is the headless body of a toy cow 208 00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:13,440 is what I think it is. 209 00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:16,280 A Jersey. OK, a cow carcass. 210 00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:17,400 Yeah. 211 00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:19,200 Well, here is the detail. 212 00:11:33,680 --> 00:11:35,920 It's something, isn't it? 213 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:37,320 It's something. 214 00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:40,040 It's a few moustaches. Mansell, Gooch, Selleck. 215 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:42,400 I don't know, Joe, I quite like the fact that you've got 216 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:45,080 lots of moustaches together and they're celebrity moustaches. 217 00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:47,920 It doesn't make me as angry as I thought it might. OK. Oh, OK. 218 00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:50,240 And Sian. Sian. 219 00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:53,400 It's hair from a Barbie. 220 00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:55,480 It's Barbie hair and Alex's face. 221 00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:56,600 OK. 222 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:58,280 Are you pleased with that? 223 00:11:58,320 --> 00:11:59,760 Not really. 224 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:03,520 You should have written "Liphook" in the hair. 225 00:12:03,560 --> 00:12:05,840 The most surprising moustache, a moustache. 226 00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:08,640 I know. It's madness to think that you could possibly 227 00:12:08,680 --> 00:12:09,800 come below that. 228 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:14,520 Right, order! Order! 229 00:12:14,560 --> 00:12:16,000 And now for some adverts. 230 00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:29,320 Hello and welcome back to Taskmaster! 231 00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:31,680 Alex, what was going on just a few minutes ago? 232 00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:33,760 Well, before the break, we were feasting our eyes 233 00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:35,480 on the hairy upper lips of our patrons. 234 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:38,360 Yes, they've been making moustaches that look like moustaches 235 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:41,320 'from a distance but, up close, they're something different altogether. 236 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:42,880 Now it's time to see Paul Sinha! 237 00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:45,880 Ooh! Wow. 238 00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:47,280 Pretty good! 239 00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:50,560 That, to me, looks like a magnificent moustache. 240 00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:52,520 It can't be because that's the game! 241 00:12:52,560 --> 00:12:54,200 It's not a moustache. 242 00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:56,480 What would he do? 243 00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:58,600 What would the Sinha man do? 244 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:04,200 It's got to be, in another language, the word "moustache" has got to mean 245 00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:05,760 something, and it'll be that. 246 00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:09,200 I suppose so. 247 00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:11,880 I haven't got a clue, he's absolutely stumped me. 248 00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:14,640 OK, this is what's going on on Paul's top lip. 249 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:28,680 What is it? 250 00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:30,480 It's just an infection. 251 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,360 Come on, Alex, what is it, caviar? 252 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,400 Yeah, sturgeon eggs. Fish eggs? Yeah. 253 00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:41,720 I mean, it's, er, it's a work of genius. 254 00:13:41,760 --> 00:13:44,800 Can I also point out that caviar is stuck to my lip with glue 255 00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:47,520 and, whenever it was falling off, I'd go, "Ooh, that's delicious 256 00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:50,680 "caviar"? I'd forget that it was covered in glue, so I had serious 257 00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:53,280 diarrhoea for three days afterwards. 258 00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:57,320 So, let's award some points. OK. 259 00:13:57,360 --> 00:14:00,960 In last place, Sian, because unfortunately Sian used real hair. 260 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:05,040 One point to Sian then, obviously, Liphook's shit. 261 00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:07,880 That gets two points, it doesn't deserve them. Two points for Iain. 262 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:10,440 Three points, just because it didn't look like a moustache 263 00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:13,840 from a distance, although I quite like the multiple moustaches, Joe. 264 00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:16,560 Oh! Four points because, you know, it's just a horrible, 265 00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:18,240 twisted monster. 266 00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:19,600 Which one? Er, Lou. 267 00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:21,040 OK. 268 00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:24,160 And, five points, obviously I'm going to give it to the caviar king, 269 00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:26,280 Paul Sinha. Paul Sinha! 270 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:33,320 So, what's that done to the scores, Alex? 271 00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:35,800 Well, I'm afraid Joe is at the bottom of the leaderboard 272 00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:37,840 with four, then we have Sian with six, Iain with six, 273 00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:40,120 Lou with seven, but Paul is the leader with nine points! 274 00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:41,640 Hurray! 275 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:48,920 Right. Next one, then, please. 276 00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:51,360 Ooh, and look, it's rice time. 277 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:52,520 Is it rice o'clock? 278 00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:53,840 It's rice already. 279 00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:09,640 Hiya. Oh, hi, there, Lou. 280 00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:11,920 Alex. Hello, Joe. 281 00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:13,480 OK. Oh, right, OK. 282 00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:17,040 I'm enjoying the eyebrows. Well, you know, what do you expect? 283 00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:20,080 Oh, you've been shopping? 284 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:22,040 I have, yes. 285 00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:24,040 OK. "Get this rice..." 286 00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:26,840 Oh, I love, erm, I love food. 287 00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:29,920 "Get this rice into the bottle..." 288 00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:31,960 "..in the living room." 289 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:34,840 "You may only use the shopping basket and its contents to transport 290 00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:36,640 "and deliver the rice." 291 00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:38,680 "You may not touch the rice with anything other 292 00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:40,760 "than the shopping basket and its contents." 293 00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:43,080 "You may not take the bottle out of the living room. 294 00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:47,720 "The most grains in the bottle wins. 295 00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:51,480 "You have ten minutes and you're time starts..." 296 00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:52,880 "..now." 297 00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:55,400 Right. Oh, no! OK. 298 00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:03,920 Very good, sounds pretty straightforward. 299 00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:06,760 Transport the rice without touching the rice. Yes. Very nice. 300 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:09,720 That's it. There's 21,000 grains of rice, same as the population 301 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:12,160 of the Orkney Islands, so if you imagine you're trying 302 00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:14,640 to get all the inhabitants off the Orkney Islands... Yep. 303 00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:16,920 ..you can only use stuff that's washed up on the beach. Right. 304 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:19,040 There's been a problem, the island's got too hot. 305 00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:21,400 Am I popping them in a bottle? I'm putting them in a bottle. 306 00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:24,640 Yeah, you've got to get them into a bottle on the mainland. OK. 307 00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:26,160 Who's first? 308 00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:28,800 We're going to look at two of my top five contestants this year - 309 00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:31,760 it's Sian Gibson and Joe Thomas. Lovely. 310 00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:33,480 So, that goes in there, and then... 311 00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:35,040 Right, I've got an idea. 312 00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:36,480 Hold on. 313 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:39,720 {\an1}SHE CHOKES 314 00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:43,080 That didn't work. That didn't work. 315 00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:44,720 So, I've got a bit of... 316 00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:46,640 ..tape. 317 00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:48,480 I mean, that's, like... 318 00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:53,120 Right, I've got another one, I've got another one. OK. 319 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:03,520 Erm... 320 00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:09,240 There must be some... 321 00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:16,520 Oh! 322 00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:18,880 Can I get tools from anywhere else, or...? 323 00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:20,400 Does it say you can't? 324 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:21,840 It doesn't, er... 325 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:24,640 Where's the...? Where is it? 326 00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:27,000 Do you know, like, if you can siphon water 327 00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:28,480 by sucking and blowing... OK. 328 00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:29,840 ..through a pipe. 329 00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:31,200 Does my mouth count? 330 00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:32,720 If my mouth touches rice? 331 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:34,160 Erm, I think so. 332 00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:35,400 Oh, shit. 333 00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:38,880 OK. 334 00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:41,880 That's not... Ah! That's Mango, isn't it? That's different. 335 00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:43,320 Different to...? 336 00:17:43,360 --> 00:17:45,720 It's different to a bowl, erm... 337 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:48,840 Oh, my God! I don't know what to do! 338 00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:50,000 Right. 339 00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:56,360 That's a little bit of rice. 340 00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:57,640 Through we go. 341 00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:06,440 OK, where's this jar? 342 00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:11,520 I think I've got this now. 343 00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:13,280 One more trip. 344 00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:19,640 So sorry, someone's going to have to get the Hoover out. 345 00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:21,720 OK. What would you do with the breadsticks? 346 00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:37,840 There's a bit of rice in that bottle. 347 00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:40,000 You didn't say in. There's some on. 348 00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:41,560 On? OK. 349 00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:43,040 On the bottle. 350 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:44,320 OK, well, thank you, Sian, 351 00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:46,920 I'm going to count the grains of rice. Bye-bye, Sian. 352 00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:52,720 You did very well, Joe. 353 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,120 Well, there's certainly some bad news for the residents 354 00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:59,600 of the Orkney Islands, isn't there? 355 00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:02,560 I mean, Sian, we all know that if you suck water 356 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:05,240 through a hose, I don't know what the scientific reason 357 00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:08,400 'for the water will keep flowing on its own, do you? I think it's just lucky. 358 00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:10,960 It's just lucky. Yeah. Yeah. 359 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:14,000 I mean, did you really think you could get the same effect with rice? 360 00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:16,240 Yes. 361 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,720 If you suck a bit of rice, the rest will follow? 362 00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:21,160 It's madness! 363 00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:23,960 I think we can safely say I failed that, didn't we? 364 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:25,480 Oh, God, yeah. 365 00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:32,440 Well, Sian transported 28% of the grains of rice. 366 00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:34,960 Joe, did you save some Orkney islanders? 367 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:38,240 Oh, my God, yeah, I wouldn't let those...those guys down. 368 00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:40,680 He saved 18,000 Orkney islanders. 369 00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:44,440 Imagine that. 85%. Yeah. Of the island? Of the island. 370 00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:47,400 Pretty good. 371 00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:51,200 So, Greg, are we gonna move on? Yeah. 372 00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:53,880 Probably worth remembering the very clear and simple rules. Yep. 373 00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:56,280 Number one, you may not touch the rice with anything other 374 00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:58,600 than the shopping basket and its contents. One. 375 00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:01,880 And, number two, you may not take the bottle out of the living room. 376 00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:04,640 Otherwise, you just go and get the bottle, scoop up the rice 377 00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:06,760 in any old thing and put it in the bottle. 378 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:09,240 Yes, and that wouldn't really be a task, would it? 379 00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:11,880 That would just be you putting some rice in a bottle. 380 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:15,200 Who's next? 381 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:16,680 It's Paul. 382 00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:21,880 Here you go. 383 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:39,480 Didn't go so well. 384 00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:46,360 I think there might be a more practical way of doing this. 385 00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:52,680 Well, that's not as hollow as I was hoping, I'll be honest with you. 386 00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:54,680 {\an1}TAKES A BIG SLURPING BITE 387 00:20:57,360 --> 00:20:59,440 Let me get some into the bowl. 388 00:21:04,120 --> 00:21:05,800 There's always a bloody trick 389 00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:07,560 in the question, isn't there? 390 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,000 Nowhere did it say you couldn't 391 00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:10,360 bring the bottle in here. 392 00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:14,600 "You may not take the bottle out of the living room." 393 00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:19,680 {\an1}WHISTLE BLOWS 394 00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:21,120 Thank you, Paul. 395 00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:22,880 Didn't do too badly this time. 396 00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:34,040 It's a very rare treat on a television programme 397 00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:36,440 to see someone lose their job 398 00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:38,240 on a different television programme. 399 00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:43,680 It's the end of part two. 400 00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:46,200 Not long now until someone wins Lou's slip-on boobs 401 00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:47,800 and Shirley Bassey's pop socks. 402 00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:48,920 Exciting. 403 00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:50,200 Now fan me! 404 00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:05,840 Welcome back to Taskmaster. 405 00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:07,840 It is the start of part three. 406 00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:09,400 Oh, it really is, isn't it? Mm. 407 00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:12,200 The current task involves using mangoes, breadsticks, honey, 408 00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:15,360 a comb, straws, a pumice stone, sticky tape, Blu-Tack or a balloon 409 00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:17,560 to transport as much rice as possible into a bottle 410 00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:18,920 in another room. 411 00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:20,680 We've seen Joe and Sian do that and 412 00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:23,520 Paul do something completely different. 413 00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:27,560 Finally, it's Lou, which is short for Lou Sanders, and Iain Stirling. 414 00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:31,520 The main thing is just not to panic 415 00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:33,800 and just to do this logically. 416 00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:36,840 "You may not touch the rice with anything other 417 00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:39,040 "than the shopping basket and its contents." 418 00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:44,840 Erm... 419 00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:49,600 Right, yeah? 420 00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:50,960 That's a carry pot. 421 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:53,160 Yeah. 422 00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:56,560 Yeah, I'm out of ideas. 423 00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:11,160 Not touching. 424 00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:13,360 Is this timed? Yes, you've got six minutes left. 425 00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:15,360 All right. In she goes. 426 00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:22,680 I've had a bit of an idea. 427 00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:28,680 It ain't half sticky, is it? 428 00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:30,520 How many minutes left? 429 00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:32,000 Three minutes and 50 seconds. 430 00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:33,600 Please, baby... 431 00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:36,120 We are flying! 432 00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:37,480 Come on, boy! 433 00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:39,720 You are a genius, Stirling. 434 00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:46,160 Look at that steady flow. 435 00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:48,960 {\an1}WHISTLE BLOWS 436 00:23:50,120 --> 00:23:51,920 I'm quite pleased with that, actually. 437 00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:06,600 When I first saw Lou's elasto-glove system, 438 00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:08,480 I thought that Sian was off the hook. 439 00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:14,280 And yet, incredible. Incredible from both of them, really. 440 00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:16,640 Mm, she cleaned the jar, that's the key. That's the key. 441 00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:18,200 Yeah. A woman. 442 00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:24,960 A better woman. 443 00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:29,000 I mean, I was just genuinely impressed. Yeah. 444 00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:31,400 Her plan was to empty the honey into a bowl so that other people 445 00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:34,400 could eat it, which is very nice, whereas Iain, instantly, straight 446 00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:35,680 on the floor. 447 00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:37,920 Chucked it out, but he wanted to save people. 448 00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:39,720 I don't like food waste. 449 00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:41,200 No. 450 00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:43,640 I don't like people on the Orkney Islands dying. 451 00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:51,240 Lou saved all, I would say, all the men and all the women, 452 00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:53,280 and just left the children. 453 00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:00,240 79%. 454 00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:04,600 So, points-wise, Paul is either one or zero. 455 00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:06,880 He broke the rules, no points. 456 00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:08,520 No points to Paul. 457 00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:10,640 I'm not complaining whatsoever. I utterly deserve it. 458 00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:13,320 No, of course, you're a reasonable man. Thank you, Paul. 459 00:25:13,360 --> 00:25:15,960 Let's give Paul a... Let's give him a bonus point. 460 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,360 {\an1}AUDIENCE CHEERS 461 00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:22,320 Sian, two points for saving 28%. 462 00:25:22,360 --> 00:25:23,800 Happy with that. 463 00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:25,440 Iain saved 74%, gets three points. 464 00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:27,320 Lou saved 79%, gets four points, 465 00:25:27,360 --> 00:25:30,520 but Joe is the winner, saving 85% of them, getting five points! 466 00:25:32,360 --> 00:25:35,120 Yes. Wow 467 00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:38,840 Another one, please. 468 00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:41,280 Good idea and it's team time! 469 00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:58,400 Hiya! Oh, hello, Sian. 470 00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:00,400 Hello, Paul. Good morning, Alex. 471 00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:02,120 Please don't touch that just yet. 472 00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:03,160 Ah. 473 00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:08,320 Good Lord. Ah! 474 00:26:08,360 --> 00:26:10,480 You got my order. 475 00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:12,880 Hello. Why are you in your dressing gown? 476 00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:15,680 Little treasure chest. Go on, sorry. 477 00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:18,040 Nothing. Hiya. Oh, sorry. 478 00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:19,560 Am I, er...interrupting? 479 00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:21,920 Oh, hello! Hello, hi. All right? 480 00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:25,520 Oh, you've got a cup of tea. Yeah, yeah, I have. 481 00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:27,600 How are you doing? I'm all right, thanks, and you? 482 00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:30,000 Yeah, I'm all right, yeah, yeah, not too bad. 483 00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:32,760 Who's that? 484 00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:37,040 Sian, you can open the task. 485 00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:38,280 OK. 486 00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:41,760 Right. 487 00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:44,840 "Tell your team-mates what is in this chest." 488 00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:47,280 "Your team-mate must not see what is in the chest. 489 00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:49,600 "After reading the task out, you may not speak again 490 00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:51,160 "until the task is over." 491 00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:55,120 "In the first minute, you may only use facial expressions." 492 00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:58,480 "In the second minute, you may only make noises." 493 00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:01,760 "In the third minute, you may only shout adjectives. 494 00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:05,360 "From then on, you may only whisper verbs. 495 00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:07,880 "Fastest correct communication wins." 496 00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:09,840 "Your time starts..." 497 00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:11,600 Are you ready? I'm ready. 498 00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:12,640 "..now." 499 00:27:27,360 --> 00:27:29,160 That's weird, innit? 500 00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:32,080 I'm just a weird guy. Just a weird guy. 501 00:27:32,120 --> 00:27:36,400 I mean, I was initially going to focus on your meeting 502 00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:39,280 being the most awkward 503 00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:41,840 and then... Can we show his face again? 504 00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:49,440 Oh, why?! 505 00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:53,040 I mean, that to me is the face of someone who's watching a human 506 00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:55,520 transform into a lizard or something. 507 00:27:56,960 --> 00:27:59,400 I mean, what the hell? What were you doing?! 508 00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:02,120 You're going to have to wait, you're going to have to wait and see. 509 00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:04,280 It's the other team first, I'm afraid. Oh, God, OK. 510 00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:06,280 It's the fun guys. It's Iain, Lou and Paul. 511 00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:10,080 Just facial expressions, please. 512 00:28:10,120 --> 00:28:12,600 Er... Erm, we can't see your facial... 513 00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:14,440 'Superman? 514 00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:15,560 'Erm, the sun? 515 00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:17,200 'It's like the sun, er... 516 00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:19,560 'A torch? 517 00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:22,480 'Your face is staying very the same. 518 00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:24,760 'Erm, oh! Morning, morning. 519 00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:26,280 'Morning, staring, focusing. 520 00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:27,400 'Sunshine. Glasses. 521 00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:28,800 'It's something to do with... 522 00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:30,400 'Oh! The view, the view, the view. 523 00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:31,640 'A picture of the view? 524 00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:32,920 'Hope! 525 00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:34,960 Just noises now, please, Paul, noises. 526 00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:36,920 {\an1}PAUL MAKES "MM" NOISES 527 00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:38,400 'A gag. 528 00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:39,720 'A ball gag. Hill! 529 00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:41,360 'Yes. 530 00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:44,240 'Sunrise, sunset? 531 00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:45,360 'Sunrise, sunset. 532 00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:47,840 It's a bit like sunrise, sunset. Just noises, please, just noises. 533 00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:49,280 'The Mooncup. 534 00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:51,520 'Any other noises apart from "mm"? 535 00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:53,560 'Daybreak? Hormones? 536 00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:56,160 'Is it hormones? 537 00:28:57,560 --> 00:28:59,080 Please shout some adjectives. 538 00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:01,440 Directional! 539 00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:04,080 'Compass! Yes, well done. 540 00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:06,600 Stop the clock. Well done, team. 541 00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:09,360 I was pointing out that thing on the wall, looking at that thing 542 00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:11,600 on the wall. Oh... 543 00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:19,720 A few guesses. Yeah, interesting. 544 00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:24,200 So, Paul was allowed initially to use only facial expressions 545 00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:27,000 but he opted for one facial expression. 546 00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:31,160 That's my acting range, Greg. Yep. 547 00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:33,640 And then you were allowed to only use noises 548 00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:35,720 and you opted for "mm"? 549 00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:39,320 Some of Lou's suggestions for what 550 00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:40,880 was in the box were interesting. 551 00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:42,440 "Morning". 552 00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:47,400 "Hope". 553 00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:50,240 She also said "the Mooncup". 554 00:29:50,280 --> 00:29:51,960 A Mooncup. Do you know what a Mooncup is? 555 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,920 At a special time of the month, it collects your menstrual blood. 556 00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:56,120 Menstrual fluid. 557 00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:58,800 And it's very economical for the environment and the wallet. 558 00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:00,600 And she thought we put it in the chest. 559 00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:05,320 The old menstrual Mooncup. 560 00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:07,920 "Mm, mm." 561 00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:09,240 Menstrual Mooncup. 562 00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:14,360 I'd like to see the other team. 563 00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:17,080 OK, well, they got two minutes and four seconds. 564 00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:19,440 Here come the actors - Joe and Sian. 565 00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:22,800 OK, ah... 566 00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:28,600 Obviously looking around, up, er... 567 00:30:28,640 --> 00:30:30,840 'Is it to do with tennis? 568 00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:34,400 What is it? Forehead? 569 00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:38,200 You think there's a forehead in the chest? 570 00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:43,600 Er, well...is it to do with the face? 571 00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:45,080 You may now make noises. 572 00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:47,360 I'm terribly sorry. Just noises, please. 573 00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:48,720 That was awful from me. Erm... 574 00:30:48,760 --> 00:30:50,080 Just noises. 575 00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:53,320 Mm. 576 00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:54,640 Mm, mm. 577 00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:57,160 Mm. Mm. 578 00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:00,720 I wish I knew what that was. 579 00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:06,240 Up, down, left, right. 580 00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:07,800 Erm... Just noises. 581 00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:09,200 'Compass? 582 00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:10,800 'It's compass! 583 00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:12,240 'Ah! 584 00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:18,240 That is... Wow! I mean, tell you what, I tell you what, 585 00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:19,880 well done. 586 00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:29,280 You used the same noise system as Paul, interestingly. 587 00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:31,440 Not opening your mouth at all. 588 00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:33,320 "Mm?" 589 00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:36,000 It's the universal noise for compass. 590 00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:40,680 OK, here we go, Sian and Joe can have three points, Lou, Iain 591 00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:42,360 and Paul can have two points each. 592 00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:46,040 There we go. Sian and Jo, well done. 593 00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:48,640 So, what do the current scores look like? 594 00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:51,440 Well, you won't believe it, it's very surprising, there are only 595 00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:53,760 two points separating first and last. Shut up. 596 00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:55,440 Lou is in the lead with 13. 597 00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:56,680 Whoa! 598 00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:05,560 OK, here comes a massive splurge of adverts - sorry about that. 599 00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:21,520 Hello, hope you had a nice nap, but wake up now! We're back on. 600 00:32:21,560 --> 00:32:23,200 What's next, Alex? 601 00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:25,920 Well, it's a task and it's this task. 602 00:32:38,160 --> 00:32:39,480 Hello, mate. 603 00:32:39,520 --> 00:32:40,680 Oh, hello, Lou. 604 00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:42,960 Please stand this side of the rope. Sure. 605 00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:45,560 Fuck it. 606 00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:48,160 Good luck. 607 00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:49,760 I'm, oh... 608 00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:54,240 "Travel the furthest distance while making a constant noise 609 00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:56,120 "with your mouth." 610 00:32:56,160 --> 00:33:00,080 "You must start travelling in 30 seconds from now." 611 00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:02,040 So, it's got to be a constant noise? 612 00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:03,960 Yeah, I'm going to release you... 613 00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:05,120 OK. ..in 25 seconds now. 614 00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:06,640 I'm a bit out of breath, you see. 615 00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:08,040 Any sort of noise with your mouth. 616 00:33:08,080 --> 00:33:10,200 Not one breath, I can just make different breaths? 617 00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:13,120 Well, as long as it's constant, as long as the noise doesn't... 618 00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:15,160 "That sounds like a gap between them." Oh. 619 00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:16,880 Furthest goes fastest, yeah? 620 00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:18,520 Do you know what I mean? 621 00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:21,240 You think the faster you go the further you go? Yeah. OK. 622 00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:22,760 That's true, isn't it? OK. 623 00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:25,640 You're going to be coming through here... But that's true, isn't it? 624 00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:27,280 I'm going to release you in 15 seconds. 625 00:33:27,320 --> 00:33:29,680 Can you just tell me that's true? 626 00:33:29,720 --> 00:33:31,160 Any questions? 627 00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:34,520 Not really. 628 00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:47,640 Just briefly, why were you out of breath before you did the task? 629 00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:52,000 The walk across the field. 630 00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:55,560 I just walked across the field. 631 00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:58,640 And I genuinely started reading the task and thought, "How have I got 632 00:33:58,680 --> 00:33:59,960 "out of breath? 633 00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:02,560 "I need to reassess everything." 634 00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:04,280 Oh, listen, well, it's almost certainly 635 00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:07,120 an underlying heart problem. 636 00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:08,560 Erm, good! 637 00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:14,200 Here are Paul Sinha and Iain Stirling, together forever. 638 00:34:14,240 --> 00:34:16,760 I've never done this before. Have you not? 639 00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:20,520 OK, well, here we go. Good luck. 640 00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:23,080 Off you go. 641 00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:27,040 A-a-ah... 642 00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:29,520 {\an1}IAIN BEATBOXES 643 00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:33,480 ..a-a-ah! 644 00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:35,240 {\an1}PAUL GETS OUT OF BREATH 645 00:34:38,720 --> 00:34:40,760 {\an1}IAIN CONTINUES BEATBOXING 646 00:34:43,720 --> 00:34:45,800 {\an1}HE STOPS BEATBOXING 647 00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:47,520 Oh, have you stopped? 648 00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:49,160 I got tired. 649 00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:51,120 Sorry, I got tired as well. 650 00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:52,720 Where did you stop? 651 00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:53,920 Here. 652 00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:57,760 On my...trousers. 653 00:34:57,800 --> 00:34:59,240 You've got it on your leg! 654 00:34:59,280 --> 00:35:00,840 You took a breath right at the... 655 00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:02,360 Did I? ..the flag, yeah. 656 00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:03,800 Why did you do that? Ran out... 657 00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:06,760 Because I ran out of breath. Ran out of breath, you needed to breathe. 658 00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:08,760 Yeah. Yeah. I have very poor vital capacity. 659 00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:10,640 Yeah, no, yes, no, I saw that. 660 00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:12,640 Oh, well, thank you. Bye. 661 00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:14,120 {\an1}IAIN BEATBOXES AGAIN 662 00:35:14,160 --> 00:35:15,840 Bluh-bluh-bluh, rewind-ah! 663 00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:26,960 "Very poor vital capacity". Yeah. 664 00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:29,880 But how lovely to see one of the deleted scenes from 665 00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:31,520 One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. 666 00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:36,600 Played out for eight seconds! 667 00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:41,160 Iain, you know, pretty funky attempt, 668 00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:43,480 but that was not a continuous sound. 669 00:35:43,520 --> 00:35:46,320 It was, yeah, the... Nope, it wasn't. 670 00:35:46,360 --> 00:35:48,680 ..the beat, in-between everything, there was the beat... 671 00:35:48,720 --> 00:35:50,920 Oh, the silence between those beats? There wasn't any. 672 00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:52,080 If it was a beat! 673 00:35:52,120 --> 00:35:54,840 It sounded to me like you were saying "butter Gazza" over and over. 674 00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:56,800 I was saying "boots and cats". Boots and cats. 675 00:35:56,840 --> 00:36:00,320 That's how you do beatboxing. Is it? Boots and cats. Boots and cats. 676 00:36:01,640 --> 00:36:04,400 {\an1}THEY BEATBOX 677 00:36:07,320 --> 00:36:09,120 Then you've got "ra-rewind". 678 00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:10,680 Oh, that's so good. Mm. 679 00:36:10,720 --> 00:36:11,960 There's no gaps in it, though. 680 00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:13,520 Oh, there's definitely gaps. 681 00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:16,480 Yeah, I've represented it as a waveform. Oh, of course you have. 682 00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:20,440 It's always going! 683 00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:23,360 No, those little bits are just atmospheric noise, I'm afraid. 684 00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:26,080 But, you know, even though you're not going to get any points, 685 00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:27,560 I mean, remember that? 686 00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:32,120 Who's next? 687 00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:33,960 It's the noisy athletes - Lou, 688 00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:35,520 Jo and Sian. 689 00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:38,160 Three, two, one. 690 00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:41,280 E-e-e! 691 00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:44,280 O-o-oh! 692 00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:46,640 A-a-ah. 693 00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:50,440 E-e-e! Hee-hee-hee! 694 00:36:50,480 --> 00:36:53,320 Hee-hee-hee-hee! 695 00:36:55,920 --> 00:36:57,360 Ooh! 696 00:36:57,400 --> 00:37:01,720 SHE TAKES A DEEP BREATH O-o-oh! 697 00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:06,640 A-a-ah. 698 00:37:06,680 --> 00:37:11,760 E-e-e! 699 00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:13,600 {\an1}SHE BREATHES HEAVILY 700 00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:15,120 Do you think you've got to there? 701 00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:16,240 Yeah. 702 00:37:16,280 --> 00:37:17,320 Was it constant? 703 00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:18,360 Yeah. 704 00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:19,400 Ooh... 705 00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:20,440 {\an1}SHE TAKES A BREATH 706 00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:22,560 O-o-oh! 707 00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:25,520 A-a-AH! 708 00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:28,200 I can't run any more! 709 00:37:28,240 --> 00:37:29,520 Have you just stopped, have you? 710 00:37:29,560 --> 00:37:30,800 Yeah! 711 00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:32,120 No breaks? 712 00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:33,760 No. 713 00:37:35,240 --> 00:37:37,720 What an annoying noise, really, from a nice girl. 714 00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:39,320 {\an1}JOE GURGLES 715 00:37:39,360 --> 00:37:40,600 {\an1}HE RUNS OUT OF BREATH 716 00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:42,760 {\an1}WHISTLE BLOWS 717 00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:44,400 It's honestly... 718 00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:45,880 ..just dehumanising. 719 00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:49,360 Bloody hell. 720 00:37:56,560 --> 00:38:00,280 Again, you confound me, like, you know, you just look like 721 00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:02,040 you're having a lovely time. 722 00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:04,200 Just running in the wind, shouting, 723 00:38:04,240 --> 00:38:05,960 and then you end it with a phrase 724 00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:09,440 that I would expect to read in a novel about Russian Gulags. 725 00:38:09,480 --> 00:38:13,360 It's not supposed to be dehumanising. 726 00:38:13,400 --> 00:38:15,680 It's just a bit of fun! 727 00:38:15,720 --> 00:38:20,640 And this is the second time that we've seen Sian clearly make 728 00:38:20,680 --> 00:38:23,960 a mistake and then say, "No, I'm just carrying on anyway." 729 00:38:25,720 --> 00:38:31,200 So, we'll start off with Sian and Lou, who both ran 38.1 metres 730 00:38:31,240 --> 00:38:33,720 and 39.9 metres by Lou. Just ahead. 731 00:38:33,760 --> 00:38:37,160 Paul ran for 22 metres. 732 00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:39,920 That's one 20,000th of the Grand Canyon. 733 00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:41,600 And 98 metres there for Joe. 734 00:38:41,640 --> 00:38:43,560 That's the length of Big Ben, if it was on its side. 735 00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:45,120 And then, finally, Iain, 736 00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:47,720 the noise stopped there, after one metre. 737 00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:50,440 One metre, there. 738 00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:53,120 So it goes one point to Iain, two points to Paul, three points 739 00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:56,000 to Sian, four points to Lou, five points to the howler, Mr Joe Thomas! 740 00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:57,480 Lovely! 741 00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:02,680 Very good. Right! 742 00:39:02,720 --> 00:39:05,960 Up you go, right now, to the stage for the final task 743 00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:07,320 of the show! 744 00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:17,560 I'm very excited because I play an active part in this. 745 00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:18,920 Yes, you do. 746 00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:21,240 Perhaps you'd like to get someone to read out the task. 747 00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:23,560 I've popped it on Joe Thomas's table today. 748 00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:24,960 Well, let me, er... 749 00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:29,280 Thanks. Thank you. 750 00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:34,560 "Say a species of bird, eat a grape, then shout a competitor's name 751 00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:38,720 "within five seconds of hearing your own name. 752 00:39:38,760 --> 00:39:42,000 "If you fail to say a different species of bird, pop a grape 753 00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:45,280 "in your mouth and shout a competitor's name within five 754 00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:46,960 "seconds of hearing your own name, 755 00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:48,200 "you will be eliminated. 756 00:39:48,240 --> 00:39:50,920 "You must not say any bird that has previously been said 757 00:39:50,960 --> 00:39:52,400 "during the task. 758 00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:54,360 "Last remaining player wins." 759 00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:56,080 What do we do with these? 760 00:39:56,120 --> 00:39:58,760 You must pop them on because that torch is blinding. 761 00:40:00,680 --> 00:40:02,680 And I'm starting with... 762 00:40:02,720 --> 00:40:04,040 ..Lou. 763 00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:05,520 Grouse. 764 00:40:05,560 --> 00:40:07,600 Paul. Swallow. 765 00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:09,520 Lou. Erm, seagull. 766 00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:12,160 Iain. Falcon. 767 00:40:12,200 --> 00:40:13,440 Joe. 768 00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:16,080 Nightingale, Sian. 769 00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:18,840 Chaffinch... 770 00:40:18,880 --> 00:40:20,440 ..Paul! 771 00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:22,120 Ptarmigan, Joe. 772 00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:24,320 Woodcock. 773 00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:26,440 Ian. 774 00:40:26,480 --> 00:40:28,040 Ballaflew. 775 00:40:29,720 --> 00:40:31,280 Lou. 776 00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:33,000 Hen, Joe. 777 00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:36,520 Blackbird, Ian. 778 00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:38,160 Chicken... 779 00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:40,200 AUDIENCE: Ooh! 780 00:40:40,240 --> 00:40:41,960 So, a lot's gone on there. 781 00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:45,160 We had hen and chicken, and then we had a Ballaflew. 782 00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:47,720 I'm going to be honest with you, when I made that one up, 783 00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:49,920 I didn't think the game was going to continue. 784 00:40:57,320 --> 00:40:59,000 Are we allowed chicken? Yeah. 785 00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:01,000 It's a different word. No, sorry, you're out. 786 00:41:01,040 --> 00:41:02,720 Really sorry. 787 00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:05,480 But Ballaflew was fine?! Yeah. 788 00:41:11,440 --> 00:41:13,360 Let's play on, Alex. 789 00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:15,360 OK. Your name, please, Greg. 790 00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:16,760 Joe. 791 00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:17,920 Manx shearwater. 792 00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:19,200 Sian. 793 00:41:19,240 --> 00:41:20,560 Whoa! 794 00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:25,680 Duckling. 795 00:41:25,720 --> 00:41:26,720 {\an1}ALARM GOES OFF 796 00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:28,120 OK, we've lost Sian. 797 00:41:28,160 --> 00:41:30,000 We've lost Sian. Oh! 798 00:41:31,760 --> 00:41:33,680 Sorry. Paul, it's with you, sir. 799 00:41:33,720 --> 00:41:35,320 Penguin, Joe. 800 00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:36,600 Puffin, Paul. 801 00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:39,920 Owl, Joe. 802 00:41:39,960 --> 00:41:41,240 Oh... 803 00:41:43,800 --> 00:41:44,840 A-a-aw... 804 00:41:44,880 --> 00:41:46,320 Argh? 805 00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:48,280 {\an1}ALARM GOES OFF 806 00:41:48,320 --> 00:41:50,480 We've lost the bird expert. 807 00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:53,480 Wow. 808 00:41:53,520 --> 00:41:55,800 And I'm starting with you, Lou. 809 00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:58,120 So, this is the final. Yeah, I know, yeah. 810 00:41:58,160 --> 00:41:59,680 Chaffinch, Paul. 811 00:41:59,720 --> 00:42:01,880 Oh, wait... Stop! We've had chaffinch. 812 00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:03,200 Lou's out. 813 00:42:03,240 --> 00:42:04,720 Paul is the winner. 814 00:42:07,200 --> 00:42:09,840 Come down and let's see how it's affected the final scores! 815 00:42:19,320 --> 00:42:21,120 What was all that about, then? 816 00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:23,840 Well, it was a great game of Bird, Grape, Torch. Really good. 817 00:42:23,880 --> 00:42:24,880 Really good game. 818 00:42:24,920 --> 00:42:28,560 Iain got one, Sian got two, Joe three, despite knowing birds 819 00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:30,120 like Manx shearwater. 820 00:42:30,160 --> 00:42:31,800 Mm, yeah. 821 00:42:31,840 --> 00:42:33,520 That is weird, isn't it? 822 00:42:34,800 --> 00:42:37,400 Lou came second. Paul Sinha won five points! 823 00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:45,800 Retaining his job after the rice fiasco. 824 00:42:47,720 --> 00:42:50,640 And it's close at the top of the leaderboard. Oh, my God. 825 00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:54,280 Joe Thomas on 20, but the winner of this episode 826 00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:56,400 is Lou Saunders with 21 points! 827 00:42:59,080 --> 00:43:02,720 Lou Saunders has won! Please get up and pair up! 828 00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:04,160 Thank you. 829 00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:08,360 So what have we learned today? 830 00:43:08,400 --> 00:43:10,840 We've learnt that if you find yourself on the quiz 831 00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:13,240 The Chase facing the Sinha man, don't panic. 832 00:43:13,280 --> 00:43:15,600 He can only go for eight seconds. 833 00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:18,680 And we've also learned that Lou Saunders won the show, 834 00:43:18,720 --> 00:43:20,120 so very well done to her. 835 00:43:20,160 --> 00:43:21,720 Farewell, night-night. 836 00:43:21,760 --> 00:43:23,200 Lou Saunders! 837 00:43:43,480 --> 00:43:46,480 Subtitles by Red Bee Media